20 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship You Want To Know About

 

A Toxic Relationship Could Destroy You If You Don’t End It In Time

 

 

 

We end up wrapped in a toxic relationship at least once in our lives. Actually, I believe that “once” equals “lucky” when it comes to toxic relationships.

 

But how to tell if you are in a toxic relationship?

 

Like it or not, most of the time we admit a relationship was toxic after its end.

Up until its last day, we strongly believe things could change, and we still have a future together.

I’ve been in a toxic relationship more than once and became an expert in spotting toxic relationships around me.

But it’s always easier to define a bad relationship after you’ve been through such… or a few of them.

My previous relationship was the most exhausting and toxic relationship I’ve ever been into. Nothing could compare to it and any word I say would be too weak to describe it.

However, what I could do is tell you, from my experience, the signs of a toxic relationship I ignored for too long and to hope that you won’t do the same mistake.

 

What Is A Toxic Relationship?

 

A toxic relationship is any relationship that makes you feel miserable, unhappy, trapped into a whirl of negative emotions and makes you hate your life.

And at the same time – you don’t want to end it. You still believe that you’ve got a bright future together… only if you could finally understand each other.

Yep… we’ll get to that point later.

A toxic relationship isn’t just a bad relationship, though.

You see, a bad relationship is the one where even though you don’t match and you realise you won’t make it work, you still go out of it with your dignity and feeling ready to look for someone who fits you better.

At the same time, a toxic relationship sucks the life out of you. It gets you to a point where you hate yourself, your life and most of all – makes you think that you don’t deserve love. Even worse – you believe you’ll never find love.

A toxic partner can control you, manipulate you, disrespect you, lift you and bring you down… and you still love him. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself every night.

 

Am I In A Toxic Relationship?

 

If you feel as bad as I described above, you probably are in a bad relationship.

However, there are warning signs of a toxic relationship you must know. If you tick the boxes… you are in a very toxic situation.

These are 20 signs I’ve put together for you below. Please, pay close attention to them and honestly answer if you recognise them as part of your life.

 

1. Mixed Emotions

 

When you are in a toxic relationship, your emotions aren’t straight.

You have ups and downs and never stay too long feeling good or feeling bad. This almost brings you to the point where you question your insanity. It’s a constant love-hate game, and you often feel exhausted by the drama.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but overall, a healthy relationship sticks to the good vibes and makes you feel safe and loved.

If that’s not something you could easily tell you have – you probably are in a toxic relationship.

 

2. You Lie About Your Relationship

 

You catch yourself lying about how happy you are. Probably, you even lie to yourself, thinking that everything’s normal and you need to man up/woman up and be more positive.

However, deep down inside you, there’s a tiny voice telling you things aren’t as good as you try to make them up. Do you listen to that voice?

 

3. You Are Disrespected

 

There are certain lines nobody should cross in the communication with the other. Respect in the relationship is one of the things you must not compromise with.

At the same time, a toxic relationship always comes together with one form of disrespect or another. More often, the disrespect is something you allow to happen, and you are most likely a victim of a behaviour you tolerate for too long.

I’ve got a very detailed post about the top 10 signs of disrespect in a relationship and if you tick any of the boxes there – you’re obligated to make it stop.

 

4. You Fight Over Everything

 

Your life has become a series of battles.

You argue over everything, your communication is ineffective and never seem to agree on the same things.

You might think that the passion and chemistry between the two of you will level things up with the time, but that won’t happen.

Effective communication is the main key to a healthy and happy relationship and if it’s missing – your relationship won’t last.

 

5. You Are Isolated

 

Somehow, you ended up isolated. You don’t call your friends anymore, your family “doesn’t understand” you, the people around you don’t treat your partner well and so on.

The reasons for your isolation could be many. The fact is – you are away from everyone who used to be your support.

Every toxic relationship tends to share this sign.

Often, the people who know us well would try to make us see the truth – that we aren’t in a good place in life. But our mind protects us from it. Wrapped around the idea of “making things work” we slowly drift away from people who wouldn’t agree with our choices.

Yet, the truth is still there – you are in a toxic relationship.

 

6. You Are Manipulated By Your Partner

 

If you are isolated from your usual circle of people and you’re disrespected every now and then… sooner or later you end up manipulated as well.

A toxic partner won’t hesitate to manipulate you, by knowingly or not, using one of these 7 manipulation techniques. He (or she) will play “the victim” role and make you feel guilty you don’t provide him with whatever he needs. He will use aggression, threats or will simply ignore you until you’re ready to do anything, just to make him stop.

 

7. Too Many Compromises

 

Often one-sided, if I may add.

Compromises are good, and if you want to build a healthy relationship, you must be ready to compromise. It might stink for a bit, but you made your partner happy and a few kisses later you’re totally fine with your choice.

However, while I’m saying that, I also want to add, that compromises shouldn’t conflict with your values, goals, dreams and overall wellbeing. They must be an exception.

That’s not the case with your partner, though. If you feel like you’ve been compromising for too long with too many things in your life, then that’s an indicator something’s not right.

In a toxic relationship, often the compromises are one-sided, and you feel like you’re going against yourself too much.

 

Is that your case?

 

8.  Your Health Is Affected

 

Now, that’s something that not everyone will pay attention to.

However, if you are in a very toxic relationship, that’s literally what it happens – it poisons you and your mind. Sooner or later, your health gets worse. You feel depressed, low energised, lose or gain weight (depends on how your body reacts to stress). Your mental and physical health suffers from the toxicity in your life.

After the end of my last toxic relationship, I had lost so much weight that none of my clothes fitted me. I still keep a specific photo of me from that period, just to keep me aware that I should never again get myself into something like that.

 

9. You Feel You’ve Done Something Very Wrong

 

Have you got that weird feeling that you’ve done something horrible? That your choices aren’t leading you to the right place in life?

I had it.

I still remember how I sat down on the sofa in the living room and loudly asked myself: Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Is this how I will spend my life? Is this present also my future? 

At this point, I panicked. I realised that if I have to spend the next 40 or 60 years of my life in this relationship, the way it was at that moment, I would be the most miserable and unhappier person I know. Right there and then, I decided that it’s time to break up with my partner.

Therefore, if you feel like something went very wrong with your life… you’re most likely in a toxic relationship.

Trust your guts.

 

 

10. You Don’t Feel Loved

 

Do you feel loved? Do you feel nurtured? Do you feel a priority? Do you peacefully fall asleep every evening knowing that you understand what Love is?

 

If you are in a toxic relationship you answers will be No to all of the questions above.

So many novels, poems and movies have tried to make us understand what Love is, how it feels. Reality is, you understand what Love is only after you feel loved. Giving and receiving that divine feeling is the most intimate experience you could share with someone.

 

If you’d like to read how love should feel, head over to this post where I explain it. Also, read the comments below the same post from other people; they will tell you all you need to know.

 

11. You Want To Run Away

 

Do you secretly want to snap with your fingers and go back in time? Maybe change a few things up, and neer enter this relationship? Or maybe would like to have a sneak peek in the future, to see if this drama will ever end and you’ll be happy?

 

Both things tell that you aren’t satisfied with your reality. If you are happy where you are, you wouldn’t want to “run away” and change anything. You would constantly remind yourself that that’s the best choice you’ve ever made.